how to talk to a friend about a problem

Keep in mind that she may have no idea that her actions are harmful to you and confronting her might be the only way to make her realize that. Should I give her the choice to either be my best friend or my enemy? It’s also the time they most desperately need the support and guidance of those around them. Don't let it build up without talking to her again. They might get angry, refuse to talk about it, dismiss what you … Beacon Health Options Insurance for Addiction Treatment, Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons, and Significant Others (JACS). Whenever you want to talk, I'll be ready.". Instead, try using phrases like “I’m worried about your health” or “I noticed some difficult situations you’ve been facing lately.”. "I can see you’re not happy at the moment and it upsets me. What should I do? Talk it out, and if he won't tell you, tell him true friends don't keep secrets. PROBLEM 8 Additionally, be sure to steer clear from making accusations and criticizing. Talk About Your Problems, Please Are you sitting on your stuff? % of people told us that this article helped them. Recovering from a drug addiction takes time and commitment, but can be successful with a comprehensive treatment plan. But talking to your friends or family about your relationships can be really important. He only did this once so I don't know if I should say something or not (I'm a girl). Its effects can linger over months or years, and trigger other problems down the road. No wonder we're afraid of talking to our friends about how we feel. Perhaps a co-worker wants to talk to you about their personal problems (again) but … Beyond that, there's not much you can do except stop being friends with this person so she doesn't drag you down with her. Jeffrey Juergens earned his Bachelor’s and Juris Doctor from the University of Florida. Realize, however, that your love and support doesn’t mean you should act as a doormat to anything your friend does or says. ", Even if the conversation doesn't go well, don't be negative. Please don't call me names that insult my intelligence again. If you need help fixing broken friendships or coping with a lack of friends, wikiHow's Handling Friendship Problems category can help. Talking about your mental distress with them shouldn't be difficult. If you ignore their drug use, they won’t see any reason to overcome it. Avoid the temptation to have the conversation over the phone, by email, or by text message. Avoid solving it when the emotions still run high. Denying the problem is common, and that can be difficult. Last Updated: July 16, 2020 My girlfriend has been sneaking into the house and she has been stealing from me. How To Talk To A Family Member Or Friend About A Drinking Problem. Rehabs are still open! If you and your friend always go for coffee, ask one or more new friends to join you. Take your friend's intentions into account when deciding whether to confront her and what to say. I want to confront my friend on a comment he made to me that was culturally insensitive and seemed sexualized towards me. If you don't know how to respond to something, just tell your friend that you need some more time to think about what she said. Nobody should be saying those kinds of things to you, and you have every right to say something to him if he has crossed a line. I've tried practicing, but I always start to cry. Confronting a friend is never easy, no matter what you are confronting her about. Ask them if anything has happened over the past two years, and tell him he doesn't have to feel uncomfortable. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. 3. Confront your friend about issues tactfully, and your friendship could become much stronger as a result. Explain how your friend’s addiction makes you feel. Then guard your house and tell her she's not welcome to pilfer there anymore! If your friend is ready to overcome their drug addiction, there are various treatment options available. How to Talk About Problems; What is the Best Way to Talk About Problems? Here are the top five things to keep in mind when talking to a friend about addiction: Initiate a conversation when your friend is sober. Make sure you broach the subject gently and don't sound accusatory. One thing you can do is talk to your friend and tell him/her how you feel about what's going on. For example, you might write: “I felt really hurt when you joked about my nerdiness in front of my crush.” Try to rehearse what you want to say so you will remember it later. If they’re under the influence of drugs during the discussion, they are less likely to be understanding of the matter. There may be friends you have known for some times that have shown in different ways that they can be trusted. If you are saying he had once told you but he doesn't want to talk about further, then do one thing take him to a place and make him feel comfortable with you by trying everything if you really want to help your friend. Try, instead, talking about the benefits of treatment and living sober. Some things just hit too close to home, and that's alright. Different scenarios of how to approach your friend’s drug addiction may run through your mind: what if you say the wrong thing? You want to help, but you’re not sure how to. Your goal is to bring awareness about their addiction, not accuse them of wrongdoing. Get confidential help 24/7. … “You can try adding new people to the friendship. You have to work smarter to get the timing right. by Jeffrey Juergens ❘ August 11, 2016 ❘ Watching a friend struggle with a drug addiction can be overwhelming and heartbreaking. Their involvement may help. What Is the Difference Between Destination and Non-Destination Rehab? Also, try to consider how your friend might feel about the situation. You never know how someone is going to respond when confronted with the reality of how their drinking is affecting themselves and others. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. You may not be able to understand how your friend is feeling and it may seem uncomfortable or awkward to discuss personal and emotional issues, but you can listen and let … African Americans and Afro-Caribbean Americans, Facts and Statistics of College Drug Abuse, Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Taking an interest in their long-term recovery and sobriety plan will encourage them to keep going when times get tough. Vital perspectives on fighting addiction delivered straight to your inbox. If your friend repeats the behavior that upset you, consider pointing it out to her right away by saying something like, "I feel hurt by what you just did/said and I feel like it is similar to what we have discussed before. You’ve gone through a treatment program and completed it successfully—and then you relapsed. You may even be able to discuss how their behavior changes after using a certain drug. Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. This article has been viewed 70,326 times. Face-to-face conversations are always best for important topics. Be respectful of her feelings by letting her finish what she needs to say before you start responding. Let t… Generally, if you care about the relationship, it's not a good idea to try to coerce a friend into greater closeness with you. Think of specific examples to discuss with your friend. Talk to me about what’s going on." When the problem is too big to figure out on your own, get help from your parent or your teacher. You can offer to find out more about the resources or go with them to an appointment. If you are worried for your friend's well-being, let her know. If your problem is that you feel the friendship is stuck in a rut, breaking out of this “blah” pattern might take work. Cindy Hardy ❘ October 31, 2019. Simply tell her that the conversation is important and ask her when would be a better time. There’s no exact formula for telling you how to talk to a friend who’s suffering from a drug addiction. There’s no exact formula for telling you how to talk to a friend who’s suffering from a drug addiction. Oftentimes, a person struggling with an addiction will distance themselves from family, friends and the activities that used to bring them pleasure. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Mia Williams, MS ❘ February 7, 2017. If you are confronting your friend about some kind of destructive behavior, such as drug or alcohol abuse, she might really need you and her other friends to tell her how her problems are affecting you. January 28, 2009 by Scott Meyer in comic. Call now for: Addiction Center is not affiliated with any insurance. What do I do? All healthy relationships need boundaries from time to time. Avoid distractions by putting your phone away and asking your friend to do the same. Don’t assume he’s good at talking about his problems, even though he wants to talk. How do you feel?" For example, say, "I feel angry when you do that" instead of "You make me angry.". Don’t wait. Rather than jump to conclusions, show empathy in their situation. Talking about your problems can release pent-up feelings. Self Reflect. If you're worried about forgetting everything you want to say, write it down. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker. This article was co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Encourage your friend to consult with a professional to talk about his/her alcohol problem. Give them the resources listed below. Sometimes specific scenarios can provide a clear explanation for your concerns. Try to ask her why she is committing such.. theft. If you and your friend are kids/teens, let one of your or her parents know what's going on. Be honest with yourself about whether you have contributed to the conflict at all. How do I stop myself from crying? So when approaching a friend who is showing signs of a problem or dealing with emotional distress, it is important to be patient and supportive. If you attempt to confront your friend and she says that now is not a good time, don't get upset. Maybe your friends don’t understand the specific struggles you experience. Talk with your friend about their drug addiction and help them get their life back on track. Posted Mar 03, 2011 . The information provided by AddictionCenter.com is not a substitute for professional treatment advice. Many people can enjoy gambling without it becoming a problem, but over time, some people develop a gambling addiction that can ruin their lives. (855) 826-4464. “Kick the friendship up a notch with new experiences,” Dr. Yager says. “You’re Talking Over Me” or “Please Hear What I Am Saying” Did she perhaps make any excuses for your 'misplaced' belongings, or did you try to ask her about it? You can see if you can maintain a relationship with one or the other of the two but, unfortunately, if you can't, you may need to find a new best friend. A drug addiction is complex. Take some time to think this problem through and … Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 70,326 times. Treatment professionals are waiting for your call: How Long Do Benzodiazepines Stay in Your System? You just have to be strong. This is just as confrontational as yelling. If you need to confront a friend to fix a problem between you, prepare yourself by working out what you want to say. Copyright © 2020 AddictionCenter.com It's common to feel worried about upsetting people you care about, and feel nervous about what people will think, or how it might affect your relationships. Keep reading for more tips, including how to keep your friendship positive after the confrontation. "You’re my friend and I’m upset because I see you doing things that are really risky." Don't Let Covid-19 Stop You from Getting Help. Learn to figure out if your friends are jealous of you or using you, and get expert advice on preventing yourself from falling for a friend, stopping fights between friends, and … January 28, 2009 / Scott Meyer (By the way, she may have a really worrying psychological problem––be very careful.). A drug addiction is complex. Sometimes we need someone to talk to just because we’re scared to be open with those actually in our lives. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. You may want to think about responses that your friend is likely to have to you, and decide in advance what you will say in return. What Is a Typical Day in Drug Rehab Like? If you really can’t stand to see another ad again, then please consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. You may have been responsible for making sure your friend got home safely and saw firsthand the negative consequences of their drug use. People tend to react negatively to that kind of pressure. A treatment facility paid to have their center promoted here. When I got back he became super awkward toward me and basically distanced himself away from me? Consider rehearsing with another friend and asking his or her opinion about how well you expressed yourself. I see my things at her now place of residence.. she knows I know, help! The simplest solution would be to gently let your friend know that it is not a good time for you to talk and suggest another friend for them to turn to. If it has happened once, it could happen again. In terms of … Get started now by finding a treatment center near you. It can sometimes be really difficult to talk about your feelings with friends or family. How to Talk to Your Friends About Your Feelings A few pointers on how to go about the scary business of confrontation: Most importantly, start by being affirming. How to Talk a Friend Through a Problem. Lecturing your friend on the negatives surrounding addiction will only increase their anxiety. Helping a Friend with a Drug Addiction. Get professional rehab and addiction education from a qualified doctor today! There's no shame in crying as you contemplate the conflict and its effects on your friendship. Tell your friend about the problem, and promise that you will talk to her through instant messages and e-mail. It can truly make all the difference in a person’s life. Skip to main content; Skip to "About government" Language selection. http://www.judyringer.com/resources/articles/we-have-to-talk-a-stepbystep-checklist-for-difficult-conversations.php, http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/thought/talk_feelings.html, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-slow/201412/how-deal-difficult-conversations, http://www.mediate.com/articles/ringerj1.cfm, https://hbr.org/2010/10/difficult-conversations-9-common-mistakes, http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships-balance/2012/07/31/confronting-friends-part-1/, http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/How-to-Have-a-Hard-Conversation-in-Seven-Steps, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201509/7-ways-make-your-most-difficult-conversations-easier, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/lifetime-connections/201508/how-confront-friend-who-really-needs-it, consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. Suddenly it’s no longer just idle chit-chat; your friend’s divulging serious stuff about their marriage. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. Asking for help with your relationships can be really difficult. Learn more about how to be featured in a paid listing. What if it ruins your friendship? While preparing is a good thing, don't make yourself crazy by over-preparing. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Remember that keeping negative feelings to yourself could cause you to feel resentful towards your friends and could drive you away from her. Let her know that, while drugs and alcohol might seem like they make depression feel better, they actually make it much, much worse by messing with your brain chemistry. Our treatment providers offer 24/7 assistance. She met quite a few friends who drink alcohol and do drugs, and now she is doing those things with them. How Do I Regain My Loved Ones’ Trust After Rehab? How to Help Someone With a Gambling Problem. When framing your sentences, use "I" more than "you." Give your friend time to voice their feelings and listen to what they have to say. Consider if the incident you want to confront your friend about was a one-time thing or if it was representative of her normal behavior. The summer between 2 years I wasn't able to talk to him. If you’re concerned about a friend, it’s important to tell them what changes you’ve noticed that have you worried and ask them what’s happening without making any assumptions. They might feel defensive when you bring up their drinking, even if they are already thinking about making a change. It's time to let it out. Then, out of the blue, your friend blurts out, "John and I had a horrible fight last night." The best way to solve this is to just come out and tell them. Talk to someone you trust. Situational awareness isn’t my problem, I hate to make small talk but over time I’ve just gotten used it. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. If you struggle with saying the words, then perhaps find another way of saying them, such as writing a letter or sending her a message. If she isn't currently seeing a therapist, encourage her to do so. Finding a private and calm place to talk about it is a must as well. Something like, "I really am concerned about your problem, but it's not a good time to talk, I'm not able to focus on this conversation right now. 3. They may be reaching for a tissue, or fuming in frustration. Topics include signs of trouble, help friends deal with drug pressure, show friends what help is available. Talk to people you trust (other friends or relatives) about your concerns. I want to speak to my friends about their behaviour when we go out, but I know they will get upset and will not listen to me. Even when you share a healthy relationship with your loved one, talking to them about their drinking problem can be scary. If your friend is talking to you at all, they’re taking a huge step. Some people have a hard time talking about their experiences, but it’s still important to ask what you can do to help. The problem is, friendship dies when one of the friends doesn’t feel validated. ... talking to our friends … {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Confront-a-Friend-Step-1-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Confront-a-Friend-Step-1-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Confront-a-Friend-Step-1-Version-3.jpg\/aid1109361-v4-728px-Confront-a-Friend-Step-1-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":"728","bigHeight":"546","licensing":"

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